I got a very quick divorce. As tumultuous as it was, I know my ex and I both wanted to be done. He had cheated, I was pissed and I wanted to be rid of him physically and legally as fast as I could. From the day I filed to the day my divorce was final was slightly over the 90 day waiting period that my state mandates.
I could not wait to go back to my maiden name and get back to the person I had lost during my marriage.
What did I do the day my divorce was final? I met some friends for some celebratory drinks and had sex with a guy I met online.
After meeting my friends, I met my new online dating friend at a bar and after a couple drinks he asked me if I wanted to go to his place. I gladly accepted the invite. As I was following him to his place he turned into a parking lot of a place I didn’t recognize. It was a pot shop! Pot had recently become legal in my state and these types of shops were popping everywhere. We walked into the store, showed the door man our ID and read over the menu (a real menu) of different varieties of pot we could choose from. We made our selection, paid and were on our way.
This man was also newly separated and had left his family home and lived in a one bedroom apartment with only a futon and TV in his living room. No pictures on the wall, nothing else in the place! I felt like I was back in my early 20’s when having a futon was a luxury.
We proceeded to get stoned out of our minds and one thing led to another and I was in his bedroom taking my clothes off. The sex was good. It was really good. After we got done, we got dressed and went back in his living room and started to watch Game of Thrones. After watching Game of Thrones for about 5 minutes we somehow made our way back to his bedroom and were naked and having sex again. We finished, put our clothes back on and vegged out in front of the TV for what seemed like hours so I could sober up enough to drive home.
I finally sobered up, drove home and was met in the door by my step mom who had been in town with my dad and they were babysitting my daughter. I felt like a high school kid that got caught sneaking out. I avoided eye contact at all costs so my step mom wouldn’t notice my blood shot, still somewhat stoned eye balls.
I never saw this guy again after our little tryst. Sure, he texted me a few times, but honestly he was a super nice guy, but I felt zero spark. And I think he felt the same. We both had an itch that needed scratching. If I were to ever run into this man I would gladly give him a huge hug and see how he’s doing post-divorce. He was a nice man, but just not for me.
I am not sure that I would remember that night so vividly had it not been a celebration of sorts. I will admit that even though my marriage ended so badly and I wanted out and hadn’t loved my husband for years I still felt a little sad that my marriage was officially over. I actually surprised myself when I felt that wave of sadness overcome me. I certainly didn’t go into my marriage thinking I would get a divorce, that’s for sure. It was the exact opposite. I remember thinking that when we started to have problems that I would make sure to work really hard and had confidence that my ex-husband would too. Ha! Little did I really know how bad things could get in a marriage.
Each year on April 24th my smile gets a little bigger knowing that I am officially free from my marriage and all the emotional pain I was in during those last couple years.
Cheers to D Day!