Dating

Why do we always have the Zsa Zsa for the wrong Men?

I am a huge Sex in the City fan, so much so that as a newly single divorcee, I am watching the entire season as part of my therapy. As silly as this sounds, I always feel better after watching an episode. I either feel like I just hung out with 4 of my best friends or some plot line from the show reminds me of my girlfriends and I somehow. One show I recently watched was when Carrie first meets Burger and she’s talking to the girls about the “Zsa Zsa Zoo” You know the butterflies in your stomach, the heart racing, that person is always forefront on your mind and you find yourself continually thinking about this person.The Zsa Zsa will also make a semi normal women go crazy. It’s as if all rational thinking goes out the window with the Zsa Zsa. Why? I don’t know.
I have yet to meet one women who has found the Zsa Zsa with the right man. I had it for a man I met when I was 24. It was love at first sight. I still remember the blue blazer he was wearing the night I saw him at the dive bar I used to frequent. I was young, naive and I fell HARD for this man. I thought at my wise age of 24, that this was what real, true love really is. I found him! Well… life didn’t agree with me. We did date for about 3 years, in fact I moved in with him after only knowing him for 3 months. He ended up being a liar and a cheat, and he broke my heart into a million little pieces. I was so distraught after I found out he had been having an affair that my friend had to bring over a couple xanex so I could actually sleep. I didn’t eat for weeks, was sleeping like shit and all I could think about was him. Why did he do this? Didn’t he feel that powerful connection I did? Apparently not. It took me FIVE years to finally get over this man.

One of my best friends had the Zsa Zsa so bad for a guy she would literrally walk around downtown Seattle peaking in windows of places she knew he would frequently go. This was not normal behavior for her, but then this man brought out the “crazy” in her. I believe as women we all have a little crazy in us, but sometimes the crazy seems to elevate at an almost scary level, especially when there’s Zsa Zsa.

Since my separation and divorce I have dabbled in online dating. I met a man on match a few months ago. We seemed to really hit it off and I felt like we had good chemistry. We went out about 10 times, slept together a few times and I thought that this may actually turn into something. I didn’t think or know if I was actually ready to settle down again so soon, but when you’ve got the Zsa Zsa, you’ve got the Zsa Zsa. What started off so hot and so fast,  fizzled in just about the same amount of time . Although here I was a 42 year old single mother feeling the Zsa Zsa for a man I barely knew. WTH?? I thought about this man constantly, always wondering what he was doing, when he would text me next, always hoping that he would want to see me, when in reality he just wasn’t that into me, yet here I was acting like a naive 17 year old girl! Ugh! I was so mad at myself, but what in the heck can a woman do when the Zsa Zsa is there? Not to mention our sex kept getting hotter and hotter and as many married folks know, married sex isn’t that great! At least my married sex wasn’t. In fact, the last few years of my marriage I never wanted to even have sex with my husband. I thought that since I was in my 40’s that I had just lost my sex drive. But no, once I tested that waters after my divorce and did have sex with another man, I realized that I just didn’t want to fuck my husband. My sex drive was back in full force and I was ready for more!

But that would not be happening, unfortunately. My new found “friend” exhibited a few red flags that I ignored. Classic narcissistic behavior; he was selfish, boasted about all of his accomplishments, talked a lot about himself and always blamed everyone else for their misdoings, especially his ex wife who he was with for 21 years. I would love to have a 10 minutes conversation with her. But yes, of course I felt the Zsa Zsa. I am happy to say that I am finally over this guy and at least it won’t take me 5 years like the last guy.

Now let’s hope the next guy I feel the Zsa Zsa for is the RIGHT guy. Is that too much to ask?

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